dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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