If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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