You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you win again, gameday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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