I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
