Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
