I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think my nap took me to another dimension
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize