I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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