I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
