Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So much Jack, so little girl.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
