He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
