I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
