Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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