i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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