I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
