So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
