You just made me feel so damn special
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
