So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize