Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
