K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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