We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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