Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
