Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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