Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
