dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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