I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize