how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
operation have a gay friend backfired
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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