then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
