Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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