I smell stomach acid.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
