Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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