hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
