what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize