I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
