their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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