Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
