Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
