some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize