ya dads aren't the best wingmen
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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