My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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