So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
