i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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