I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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