just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
