why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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