either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
