He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
