i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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