woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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