I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
