Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  check it out our google latitudes are spooning

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  (516): check it out our google latitudes are spooning http://tfl.nu/t63m
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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  (954): my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him http://tfl.nu/k9ng
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.

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  (917): Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date. http://tfl.nu/r3cq
  Replies (17) Good night (668) Bad night (6422)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend

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  (412): He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend http://tfl.nu/zd33
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex

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  (515): Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex http://tfl.nu/a38e
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.

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  (520): She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist. http://tfl.nu/mma2
  Replies (35) Good night (4371) Bad night (1136)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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  (540): I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards http://tfl.nu/0mpw
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  (914): View more from New York

  You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.

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  (914): You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street. http://tfl.nu/q2es
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.

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  (239): I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life. http://tfl.nu/rpst
  Replies (1) Good night (1118) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hear you

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  (613): I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting. (250): I hear you http://tfl.nu/kr1l
  Replies (7) Good night (2107) Bad night (445)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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  (224): I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store. http://tfl.nu/th0h
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker

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  (612): Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker http://tfl.nu/kwb8
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

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  (303): Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs. http://tfl.nu/8ywt
  Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.

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  (225): I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with. http://tfl.nu/2qkg
  Replies (4) Good night (693) Bad night (253)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.

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  (678): I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment. http://tfl.nu/mk4n
  Replies (5) Good night (241) Bad night (882) Order T-Shirt

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