Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.