I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.