oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
