Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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