Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
