would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
