remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
