scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
