I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize