I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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